You wouldn’t think a cargo ship should tangle with cruisers. But my Crane, as it happens, can fit a heavy missile launcher, and it’s a tough ship.

Today was typical. Warp into a belt, spot a fellow named Pooterhead mining in an Osprey. Near him was a jettisoned can, named to be a challenge: “Touch this can and die” or some such. Prophetic, as it happens.

Motor up to the can, dump the contents into my hold. Pew pew pew, he’s locking me. I can hear the pinging noise Bloodclaw light missiles make bouncing off my shields. Nope, I don’t need to turn on my shield booster, he’s barely ahead of my shield recharge rate. Turn on the warp scrambler, turn on the heavy missile launcher. He’s toast, he just doesn’t know it yet. Eventually, pop:

2007.01.24 21:42
Victim: Pooterhead
Alliance: NONE
Corp: QUANT Corp.
Destroyed: Osprey
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Involved parties:
Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.0
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Havoc Heavy Missile
Name: Guristas Imputor / Guristas

Destroyed items:
XeCl Drilling Beam I
XeCl Drilling Beam I
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 57

Aside from an entirely fair “Fuck you”, Pooterhead turned out not to be a smacker. From local, just after:

Pooterhead > FUck You
Rooker > ?
Pooterhead > came up, stole m,y ore, then scrammed and killed me
Griel > welcome to eve, n00b
Rooker > don't shoot back at things larger than you in a mining ship
Rooker > or shoot at*
Pooterhead > he was in a badger...forgot the t2s can have launchers =/
Marlenus > Don't feel bad, everyone forgets that
Pooterhead > lol
Rooker > haha.... battle badger ftw
Lagerstars > lol
Marlenus > It's too much fun *not* to do
Pooterhead > man, people down in 0.0 where i was for the last week r nicer then up here =)
Marlenus > I'm plenty nice to people who don't shoot at me
Marlenus > LOL, I'm not sure it's yours once you jettison it
Pooterhead > man, i knew i shoulda hauled at 2.5 k =/
Rooker > jetcan in amarr or gallente space. rarely anybody bothers you
Rooker > too many people in caldari space
Pooterhead > w/e i get my bc skill in 2.5 hrs
Marlenus > Suggestion? Don't name your cans to be a challenge, it makes it harder to pass them up
Pooterhead > lol
Pooterhead > it was made to ward off frigs
Rooker > another suggestion. T2 drones + 2pt scram
Rooker > ceptor thieves love it :)
Marlenus > Ah, I see. ;-) Two limos launchers probably would deal with frigs
Pooterhead > im workin on t2 drones as soon as i get my ferox up and running
Marlenus > Although it's hard to salvage enough ore in a frig to be worth the time, I'd think
Pooterhead > ud be suprised, ive had ibis take my ore lmao
Marlenus > LOL, I prefer to move the stuff in industrial quantities
Pooterhead > yea me 2 but mining with one highslot in a badger takes WEEKS

Notable salvage proceeds: ore, plus a pair of Upgraded Limos light missile launchers.

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