So yesterday they declare war, last night I got a stomach flu that put me in a foul mood, and today I get a convo from the official shakedown man for The Griefer’s Alliance. Of course, he’s just trying to help me, by making me an offer I can’t refuse.

Only, I can:

korlel > hi
Marlenus > Hello
korlel > lokk mate i cant be botherd with tihs war
Marlenus > So drop it already?
Marlenus > *I* didn't start it.
korlel > my co wont
Marlenus > LOL, get a better corp?
Marlenus > Because you guys are just lame anyway
korlel > but i have some say in this corp
korlel > look mate dont think where weak
Marlenus > I've seen all the ibises on the killboard, you can't be weak if you can slaughter ibises
Marlenus > Zero respect here, that's just how it is
korlel > cool
korlel > im not here to pick a fight
Marlenus > No, you guys already picked it. So, what can I do for you?
korlel > look im here behind my co's back
korlel > he dont know im talking to u
Marlenus > And you want...?
korlel > im trying to sort it out
Marlenus > I'm listening, but this war is all you guys, don't really see what I can do to help "sort it out"
korlel > you can help alot it's only u that can help
Marlenus > Yes?
korlel > 200mil and ur free
Marlenus > LOL, LOL, LOL, no
korlel > you like sitting in a station
Marlenus > You guys never leave Kisogo
Marlenus > And I am very mobile
Marlenus > You'll never see me if I don't want you to
Marlenus > And I'll never give you any sport
korlel > lol
Marlenus > This war dec has ZERO effect on me
Marlenus > Eventually you'll get tired of paying the bill and drop it, everyone does
Marlenus > I don't do PvP
Marlenus > So, that would be "no."
korlel > lmao
korlel > we have been to ur hq
Marlenus > I've seen your killboard, you don't have a single kill outside the newbie areas
korlel > we can find u anywhere in eve
Marlenus > Sure you can, and when you do, I'll be nine jumps away. Have fun with that.
Marlenus > Oh, sure, I might lob a few missiles at you from extreme range on days when I'm bored, but I don't take my ships in harm's way, never have.
Marlenus > With warp to zero and a good set of bookmarks, you can't hurt me if I don't want to fight
Marlenus > And I don't
Marlenus > This is not my first wardec
Marlenus > I'm a salvager, we're not popular
Marlenus > But nobody's ever had any joy out of me
Marlenus > One guy even hired Murder Death Kill to come after me, they never even managed to get in the same local grid as me
Marlenus > The war is a joke and a waste of your money, even if you were'nt a bunch of newbie-popping self-confessed griefers.
korlel > lkk at killbord again ull notice a few names on there
Marlenus > Sorry, but you simply don't have any credibility, too many dead Ibises on your killboard
Marlenus > It was seven Ibises out of ten kills last time I looked
korlel > maybe but that is a few members of this cor and even the aliance
Marlenus > Including your ceo
korlel > he helps us
Marlenus > You need *help* popping newbies?
Marlenus > This just gets funnier and funnier
korlel > it would cost more to get mercs in
Marlenus > Look, you're wasting my time. Ironfleet does not pay tribute, never has, never will. And we don't respect newbie killers. So drop the wardec if you don't want the war, or don't drop it, but I don't have much more to say on the subject.
korlel > look at our wars we havent lost
Marlenus > You're not going to *lose* this one either, because I'm not going to fight. It takes two to tango. But you're not going to *win*, either.
Marlenus > You're just wasting your money, and I might get lucky, that destroyer of Pacca's will pop pretty quick if I catch him at the right heavy missile range.
korlel > ok fine i tried to help you
Marlenus > LOL, extortion demands are not "help"
Marlenus > Ironfleet out

I checked these boys out earlier today, they were hanging around Kisogo in three battlecruisers and a destroyer. Ironfleet doesn’t have the combat power to engage them, but it doesn’t matter; they’d have to hunt me for weeks to catch me, and they won’t give up that much newbie-popping.

3 Responses to “The Griefers Demand A Danegeld”

  1. Halsey says:

    Entertaining read. I remember when griefers would wardec me and try to extort money to make them stop.

  2. Marlenus says:

    It’s pretty funny to me, because paying is so stupid. “When once you’ve paid the danegeld, you’ll never be rid of the Dane.” Who doesn’t know that?

  3. Brian says:

    Well, some pirates do honor their bounties – I’ve flown with a couple and they’re good guys. Smack em in local, though, and they’ll finish your ship and pod before you can blink.

    Awsome story Mar!

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