Whew! I had an exciting day today, and really had to work for a jetcan full of pyroxeres. I swear, it might have been easier to mine this one myself!

But, much less fun.

So let’s see, I was scouting my local system when I noticed two covetors mining in close formation. One was in a corp and one was in an NPC corp, but there was something about their alignment that made me think they were together. I bookmarked both their cans, and returned to my hangar for my trusty Crane transport ship.

Warp to zero on one of the cans. Scoop a load of ore. Can is not empty, so I dump the rest into an Ironfleet jetcan. This covetor is not flying drones, and he offers no fight. I go home and deposit my salvaged ore, return for more.

Still here, still mining. I scoop another load, this can is almost empty.

Right about then the other covetor — the one in the player corp — begins to target me. Huh? You can’t shoot me. But he is flying five drones, maybe he thinks he’s threatening me to warn me off. Well, buddy, that’s not how I work.

So I zip over with an eye toward emptying that other can into an Ironfleet jetcan. Which I do. This one is almost full of pyrox, lots of loads for the Crane.

Of course, no sooner do I swap the ore than the covetor starts chewing on me with five drones. About this time, the other covetor leaves. Uh oh, this could get ugly if he comes back with a big stick.

So I align for warp and then crank up my one missile launcher on the covetor. This will be a test of tanks, his drones are doing fair damage and so are my heavy missiles. But I pull ahead quickly, this should go OK.

Suddenly, I’m enjoying the rumbling thunder noise of cruise missiles detonating all over my lovely blockade runner. And my shields are EVAPORATING like gasoline on hot pavement. Time to go! Emergency warp, ye swabbies!

Once the warping is underway, I take time to see that Covetor Pilot #1 has returned in a battleship. And he looks pissed. No way to waggle my wings in a Crane (no wings) but I exit with all possible panache. The armor looks like it’s going to need some serious plates welded over the new holes.

So what am I leaving behind? Blinky battleship, blinky covetor with half his armor gone, most of a jetcan full of ore with an Ironfleet tag on it. Hmmm.

What have I got in my hangar that can deal with a blinky battleship?

Hmmm, nothing at the moment.


But hey, the battleship can’t haul that ore, now can he?

Time to dust off the stealth bomber.

Fast forward ten minutes. I’m hanging in the belt, cloaked, watching my two Ironfleet cans and the drones one of the covetors left behind. Nobody here but us chickens.

Here comes blinky battleship. He sniffs around, does nothing.

Here comes Covetor Pilot #2, now flying a blinky Drake battlecruiser. Another target I don’t feel like spamming with cruise missiles, because what would it prove?

Blinky battleship and blinky Drake hang around. Blinky Drake collects the drones. Blinky battleship eventually stops blinking, because time is up. But blinky Drake? Ah, he’s going for the Ironfleet cans. I watch while he flips them into his own cans. Now he’ll be flashing another fifteen minutes.

He hangs around a bit more. Then he leaves.

Will he come back in something large and thin-skinned and crunchy, with a creamy center? Will he?

He does! With a long elegant slide, a flashing indy warps back into the belt and directly to the ore can. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for!

“Wake up, you gunnery dogs!” (Working for Ironfleet, the gun dogs don’t get much practice, except at playing poker in the ready room.) “Wake up, I say! Look lively, and man the missile tubes!”

So I uncloak, target, launch the first volley of cruises. I can’t kill a Badger in one volley, but unless he’s very alert, I ought to get more than one volley. With any luck, he’ll get hung up on the can or something. One away! Two away! Three away!

Kaboom. Kaboom. Kaboom.


For the first time ever in my salvage career, I meet somebody ELSE who flies Tech II transports in high sec. I’m not shooting at a badger-class indy, I’m shooting at a Bustard. Those babies are tough. At this rate it will take ten volleys to get through his shields alone, and I won’t get ten. On the bright side, he can’t have a gun on that lumbering beast, it ain’t possible.

In the event, I get four volleys, and take down about half his shields, at which point he warps away.

But right at that very moment, something much more exciting begins to happen, which utterly replaces my mild disappointment.

Remember Covetor Pilot #1? Who is still hanging around in a battleship? He’s long since lost the right to shoot at me, so why is he targeting me?

Did I say “targeting”? Forget the targetting, why is he shooting me?!?

Ouch ouch ouch, I’m in a ship made out of origami tissue paper!

Make that “Half a ship”, after the first volley.

Did I say “Emergency Warp!” already? No, but the guys in the black gang got the idea when holes the size of pumpkins (big ones) began appearing in the engine room bulkheads. They must have decided to hit the big red button without waiting to hear from their astonished captain.

I’m not sure I would have made warp before the second volley landed, but by the time I actually did make warp, Concord had arrived, blinky battleship was a smoking wreck, and Covetor Pilot #1 was sitting beside said wreck in his pod, contemplating the smoldering consequences of his anger management problem.

After that, there was no more excitement. Somebody beat me to the battleship loot, but I got the salvage from the wreck. And I had to pull out a Badger to haul all the ore home, which took about three trips. But my combative covetor pilots never returned for it, so it was an uneventful haul.

One Response to “Cruise Missiles Incoming! Again!”

  1. Kirith Kodachi says:

    Found your blog from your post on the forums, loving it! Keep up the good stories, they are very inspiring. :)

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