I never cease to marvel at the power of the “it’s just a helpless hauler” meme. These guys aren’t packing warp disruptors, so what are they expecting to accomplish? Is it just a “Fuck you” gesture?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I was taking one last belt patrol before calling it a day, when I came upon another Retriever mining barge with a jet can out. I motored over to have a look, and while it wasn’t even close to full, it had more in it than my combat Crane can hold. So, I flipped it into an Ironfleet can.

He instantly jettisoned another can of ore. WTF? If he noticed the old can was gone, why would he jet a new one while I’m sitting right there? (I haven’t quite forgotten just how confusing EVE is when you’re new, and how easy it is to do stupid stuff by accident in the heat of the moment. But it’s been almost five years, so it’s harder and harder to remember.)

Anyway, thank you for all donations! I added the contents of the new can to the old can. Then, seeing no immediate response, I decided to go clean up a couple of his wrecks. That takes a little while, and when I’m done, I decide to wait and see if he’ll jet me a third can of ore after his next mining cycle.

Instead, what do you suppose he did?

Yes, my friends, he launched five drones and sent them to attack me.

Well, after that it was all over but the whooshing and the kaboom:

2011.04.09 23:58:00

Victim: John Brut
Corp: Falcon Prospect
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 1912

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Caldari Navy Thunderbolt Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1912

Destroyed items:

Residual Survey Scanner I
Medium Cargohold Optimization I, Qty: 3
Co-Processor I
Strip Miner I, Qty: 2
Pyroxeres, Qty: 3048 (Cargo)

Dropped items:

Plagioclase, Qty: 2612 (Cargo)
Mining Laser Upgrade I

When I came back for the second load of ore, he was still sitting there in his pod. Rage-break and he went for a beer?

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