Although I enjoyed my time in faction warfare, especially including a lot of inconclusive fleet action that taught me valuable blobbing skills, this comment in a Scrapheap Challenge thread struck me as a pretty accurate description of a lot of the time I spent, complete with recommended soundtrack:

Having chased both Caldari and Gallente militias around an awful lot, it seems that caldari go to Old Mans Star and wave their cocks about until it seems like Gallente are about to fight and then they turn and run back to Nourv. Then Gallente go to Tama and do the epeen wave until the Caldari get it together to chase them back to Villore. This back and forth should take place to Benny Hill music. Stragglers die and sometime when both militia fuck up they actually end up fighting, as if by accident.

I remember weekends when we repeated that sequence three or four times between lunch and bedtime…

5 Responses to “To The Music Of Benny Hill”

  1. threeDspider says:

    for the longest time i actually thought this was what eve pvp was o.O still, there were some good times . . . /nostalgia.

  2. Rooker says:

    I don’t remember it quite that way. IIRC, one side would form an enormous fleet, fly to the opposite system, pollute local chat for an hour, get bored because nobody wanted to fight and then go home. Then the other side would do the same thing an hour or two later.

    I seem to remember we had to actually do suicide missions into Gallente’s highsec to get them to fight at all just before I quit EVE.

    Take anything Deja Thoris says with a grain of salt anyway. Remember, those were the same guys that, right at the beginning, slapped overdrives and polys on literally everything and then beat their chests all over Eve-O/Scrapheap about how they were pwning all those Caracals.

  3. Marlenus says:

    I remember sitting in a Caracal on the Nourv gate and bouncing heavy missiles off Deja Thoris, I was hitting her for one and two points of damage per missile as she nanoed past at a high rate of speed. The day Steelcastles showed up in a Cerberus rigged to the gills with precision lights was comedy gold.

    Oddly enough, the way you remember it and the way Deja describes it don’t sound all that different to me — just different emotional tones applied to the same events. Frankly, I thought the addition of the Benny Hill theme music was the entertaining part — it would have livened things up if they’d added that track to the EVE jukebox.

    I did get in on some of those Gallente high sec runs; they weren’t all suicide runs, either. Good times. I actually miss faction warfare; for all its defects, there were a lot of good fights. Ultimately, though, I decided that good fights that aren’t in support of anything aren’t worth the ISK.

  4. Rooker says:

    His version has just enough relation to the truth to sound believable. Adding a small kernel of reality can make the most absurd rubbish sound plausible.

    I was on the Caldari side and I had a spy in the other militia and his version of events is just false regardless of what side you were on. It just worked out that their militia was near empty when our’s was mostly full and vice versa. Both sides griped about the seeing the same things, but at different times of the day.

    I really missed Corewin when he left, because his Achmed Fleets were always in a good time zone to find a large enemy fleet. If nothing else, Dead Parrots were usually active around the same time he was and they were always fun to spar with.

  5. Marlenus says:

    You forget, I was there too. It’s not a matter of “believable” or not — the back and forth really was a common pattern. I saw it with my own eyes; I was there. Deja has a particularly uncharitable view of the reasons for it, you’ve got a different opinion, and I just think it would have been more fun with the Benny Hill soundtrack.

    Achmed fleets didn’t work for my play time, usually, and I had a couple of bad experiences when I did fly with them. But we always found action, I’ll grant you that. The Steelcastles fleets that I became a routine stalwart in suffered severely from a lack of Gallente to shoot at, but we got very good at clearing the rats out of Tama once we took to flying with enough ECM.

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