So today, I filed my first-ever EVE petition.

I avoid lag, I try to be careful, and I’m pretty willing to accept losses imposed by an imperfect gaming environment. So, in about a year of play, I’ve never felt the need to petition.

So, today. Saw a full can of ore. Went to haul some. Hauled some. Went back. Hauled some more. Docked.

Looked at local. Whoa, smack city!

LordThyGod > fuck you
Takeda Shiko > Uh?
LordThyGod > Martelenus is stealing ym ore byt the transprt full!@
Takeda Shiko > That was random and… vulgar…
LordThyGod > Marlenus
LordThyGod > So do veterans often steal ore in 30 mil ships?
LordThyGod > bitch ass baiter
Takeda Shiko > zowie
Ebodhisatva > lol
Takeda Shiko > Maybe he’s guilty as charged?
Ebodhisatva > why should he?
Ebodhisatva > he’d rather get blown to pieces
Marlenus > LOL, was busy hauling ore
Ebodhisatva > roflmao
Baron Kalan > /emote sniggers
Ebodhisatva > so you find a nice filled can
Ebodhisatva > and just take it
LordThyGod > coke on a can of quafe and die loser
Marlenus > Was a couple of full cans full, needed multiple trips
Takeda Shiko > Marlenus, that’s just wrong.
Marlenus > Obviously, I disagree
Takeda Shiko > I’m sorry that you think it’s funny
Ebodhisatva > that is indeed like leaving your brand new porsche running while being away
LordThyGod > thats my hard work jerk
Ebodhisatva > man i’d take it for a spin
Marlenus > No, the funny part was that folks think I’d be reading local while I was busy working
Takeda Shiko > Obviously, you’re a jackass, too… but whatever
Marlenus > Salvage is my profession, I take it very seriously
Ebodhisatva > lord, get some secure cans
Ebodhisatva > than you’ll be safe
Ebodhisatva > that is like making sure your new porsche is locked when you leave it
Takeda Shiko > Salvage is blowing stuff up and using a salvager… ripping people off is stealing. And it reflects on you and your corp.
LordThyGod > you just liek to pick fight dont you?
Takeda Shiko > *Shrugs* Doesn’t matter to me too much though… different strokes and all that.
LordThyGod > want me to fire so you can come back in a BS
Ebodhisatva > it’s even better, you get to kill him
Marlenus > Agree that it reflects on my corp — have you read the corporate description? This is what we do.
Ebodhisatva > he steals and you can kill him!
LordThyGod > I hope you get banned
Ebodhisatva > that is really neat!
LordThyGod > Not when he has 7 months on me
Takeda Shiko > Unfortunately, Lord, this game has a lot of room for griefers.
LordThyGod > gotta pick on the newbs
LordThyGod > what a loser
Ebodhisatva > just kill him!
Ebodhisatva > get some friends and hunt him down!
LordThyGod > a yerar in the game and he cant make money on his own he has to steal ore
Takeda Shiko > What’s sad is he’s doing it in Higher Sec spcae
Takeda Shiko > space*
Takeda Shiko > You expect this in low sec space
Takeda Shiko > “Check me out, I just ripped off a newb! Look at all my SCORDITE!”
Ebodhisatva > ow man, if it is red in my overview, he’s screwed
Ebodhisatva > you can even wardec him
LordThyGod > I know
Ebodhisatva > it’ll cost 50 mill, but it feels soooo good
Ebodhisatva > you can hunt him down the whole frecking week
abissshooter > lol
Ebodhisatva > hell, you can even give privateer alliance 50 mill to do it for you
Dranoel > I’d kick your ass if this were RL.
Ebodhisatva > man, he won’t ever leave station
Ebodhisatva > ever
Dranoel > Nope
Takeda Shiko > Yeah, most jerkies that my old corp put a hit out on just sat in a station and played an alt
Takeda Shiko > wow… Marlenus is the CEO of the corp… of 7 members… why am I not surprised?

So far, so normal. A bunch of smack, I defend myself lightly, that triggers a lot more smack, I can deal with that. But then came the interesting part. Tell me what you think:

Dranoel > Do you liek dev’s Marlenus ?
Dranoel > Do you knwo I”m part of ISD?
Dranoel > You’ve picked a bad ememy to make.
Takeda Shiko > ISD?
Dranoel > Interstellar Services Department.
Dranoel > I hope you liek getting podded.
Takeda Shiko > Hmm… enlighten me please?
Dranoel > :)
Dranoel > We handle bugs, pettions, the help chennel and the rookie channels.
Takeda Shiko > and griefers in 0.7 space?
Dranoel > And update testing.

Dranoel > Thieves in RL get thier faces stommped in for stealing from me.
Dranoel > Gonna come out now that the timers over?
Dranoel > OR are you gonna keep hiding in your T@ ship
Dranoel > T2 indy just for stealing ore
Takeda Shiko > Baron, the point in question isn’t that he stole ore… it’s that he is a much more powerful veteran character stealing from a newer character in High Sec space… it’s just… tasteless
Dranoel > Thats dedication to being an asshole
Dranoel > Don’t worry, my friends in ISD will make him lose far more isk than he will gain from that ore. :D

Dranoel > aw he came abck!
Dranoel > Gotta run from em cause I’m not in a Osprey?
Marlenus > Right, because a transport ought to stay and fight with a battlecruiser, that would be very smart.
Dranoel > ^ Ore thief
Marlenus > Salvager, if you please
Dranoel > Smart is not stealing from ISD
Dranoel > I don’t please
Marlenus > Smart is not getting banned for threatening to abuse the powers of the volunteers
Dranoel > I hope you die a firey death at the hands of my friends.
Dranoel > I’m not threatening
Dranoel > I’m promising
Dranoel > They volunteered

Now, don’t get me wrong. So far as I know, the ISD volunteers do good work and they don’t have many special powers to abuse, if any. So I consider this an empty threat.

But I do know that CCP Games cannot afford, just now, to have people running around claiming “special connections” and threatening people with the abuse of those connections. The game doesn’t need that.

Or so it seems to me. I filed a petition and attached the logs, just in case.

Back to local, where (if you can believe it) they were still smacking me.

Marlenus > OK, petition filed
Takeda Shiko > Wow… my first petition?
Takeda Shiko > or just against Dranoel?
Marlenus > You’ve done nothing petitionable that I know of
Dranoel > Prolly me but it wont go anywhere.
Takeda Shiko > Well, i DID use a naughty word.
Marlenus > But claiming to be in ISD or to abuse ISD “powers” is banning offense
Takeda Shiko > *blushes*
Marlenus > Lotsa naughty words in the world, I’m a big boy
Takeda Shiko > Fair enough
Dranoel > Telling you that my friends in ISD are on the hunt for you, is not.
Marlenus > But that’s not what you said. No worries, gms will sort it out. I don’t care if anything happens to you, I just want them to be aware that ISD is being used as a threat.
Dranoel > I didn’t threaten you eith them
Dranoel > I warned you
Dranoel > i didn’t make the decision
Marlenus > Not my call

Which it isn’t. But I do know that the “Suspension and Ban Policy” states:


Severe offenses may result in an immediate ban without warning; however, warnings may be given for first time offenses, followed by account suspensions of varying degree and ultimately a permanent ban if a player:

* a. Presents himself as a CCP employee, game master or other customer service representative, or a member of the EVE volunteer program.

And I’d say the claim that “Do you knwo I”m part of ISD?” sounds like presenting himself as a member of the Eve volunteer program.

One final gem from the smack, which continued at length, until a new party entered the system and became curious about it:

Felgor > Did soemoen go boom?
Daloron > nope someone did steal
Marlenus > No, but some jettisoned ore went home to a hangar the mining ship never left from.
Daloron > from a newb
Takeda Shiko > I don’t think so, but marlenus ripped someone off.
Marlenus > Mining barge does not equal newb I wouldn’t think.
Felgor > Sounds like Marlenus will soon have a bounty on his head :P
Takeda Shiko > psh… bounties are just collected by a buddy
Dranoel > Brought a Badger II JUST to steal form me
Marlenus > No point in salvaging jettisoned ore in a small ship.
Raest > that’s the spirit
Dranoel > If I had fired, he gets 15 mins to attack me in w/e ship he wants
Marlenus > Ya gotta move that stuff in industrial quantities if you want to see a decent profit.
Dranoel > I had planned on it but you stole it befor ei Could

So many comebacks, but I was laughing too hard to type. So I let it drop with a LOL, and moved on.

One Response to “My Big Brother Will Beat You Up”

  1. Emmett says:

    that was awsome!

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