Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

Have you ever had that mail bug that mixes together two adjacent mails in your Evemail inbox? I had that today, and it was funny.

A corpmate (who also runs a Level IV mission tanking character) saw yesterday’s big salvage and wrote to inquire about getting some of the items:

you got
1x True Sansha Medium Energy Neutralizer (10+ million ISK ea)
3x E50 Prototype Energy Vampire (7 million ISK ea)
1x Invulnerability Field II (5 million ISK ea)
1x Large Shield Extender II (5 million ISK ea)
1x Warp Disrupter II (5 million ISK)
4x Shield Power Relay II (7 million ISK)

can i Please have the
Invulnerability Field II
and
4 Shield Power Relay II

I SO WANT!!!…… TY

Well, it’s his mission running crew that keeps me in Arbalest missile launchers, so of course I sent him the loot. But the funny part is, he’d once sent me an Evemail sharing one of those funny Mad Lib style “complaint forms” you can send to people who blew you up. And the two mails got mixed the first time I opened my Evemail box this morning. So what I saw was this:

you got
1x True Sansha Medium Energy Neutralizer (10+ million ISK ea)
3x E50 Prototype Energy Vampire (7 million ISK ea)
1x Invulnerability Field II (5 million ISK ea)
1x Large Shield Extender II (5 million ISK ea)
1x Warp Disrupter II (5 million ISK)
4x Shield Power Relay II (7 million ISK)

can i Please have the
Invulnerability Field II
and
4 Shield Power Relay II

I SO WANT!!!…… TY

[] Privateers Alliance
[] D² Alliance
[] Imperium
[] The Kieretsu
[] some other alliance no one gives a toss about

to come and

[] Kill you all
[] Kill you all and your families
[] Stab you all repeatedly with a carving knife
[] *****your women
[] Kill your mothers
[] Have sex with your family dog

[] Other (Please State)

as revenge for you destroying my

[] Ship.
[] Wallet balance.
[] Pod.
[] Implants.
[] Ego.

I sincerely hope you all

[] Get ass raped by big black men,
[] Contract sexually transimtted diseases,
[] Rot in hell,
[] Get podded back to the stone age,
[] Escrow me my stuff back,
[] Go **** yourselves,
[] Get off on killing people,

Because the loss of my stuff in our encounter was
very trauma

I was like, you ask me for loot but you want the former owners to come and be mean to me? Dude, WTF? But then I remembered that this was text from the adjacent mail in the box.

The complete complaint form, which is funny, reads like this:

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ATTACKED AND WISH TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES OF THE EVENT WITH US, WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD FILL OUT THE FOLLOWING FORM, IN ORDER TO HELP US IMPROVE CUSTOMER SATISFACTION.

THANK YOU

————————————–

Hello,

My name is [insert victim name], and I was:

[] Pod Killed
[] Ship Killed
[] Ransomed

by [insert name here] on [insert date] in the system [Insert system name].

I am writing to inform you, that yourself, and the rest of your corp are

[] Bastards
[] ****ers
[] Evil *******
[] Tossers
[] ********s
[] Griefers
[] Pirate Scum
[] ****s
[] Homosexuals
[] ****s
[] Mother*******
[] Lamers
[] Losers
[] *****es

and you

[] Ruin the game for
[] Enrage
[] Bankrupt
[] Give too much grief to
[] Destroy the point in playing for

[] Other (Please State)

people like me. There for, you pack of [insert abusive plural name], I have took it upon myself to enlist the help of my

[] Whole Corporation
[] Whole Alliance
[] Favourite Merc Corp
[] Mate who’s been playing for 2 years and is
uber
[] Main, who’s a member of

[] Xetic
[] CVA
[] U’K
[] Stain
[] Privateers Alliance
[] D² Alliance
[] Imperium
[] The Kieretsu
[] some other alliance no one gives a toss about

to come and

[] Kill you all
[] Kill you all and your families
[] Stab you all repeatedly with a carving knife
[] *****your women
[] Kill your mothers
[] Have sex with your family dog
[] Other (Please State)

as revenge for you destroying my

[] Ship.
[] Wallet balance.
[] Pod.
[] Implants.
[] Ego.

I sincerely hope you all

[] Get ass raped by big black men,
[] Contract sexually transimtted diseases,
[] Rot in hell,
[] Get podded back to the stone age,
[] Escrow me my stuff back,
[] Go **** yourselves,
[] Get off on killing people,

Because the loss of my stuff in our encounter was very trauma

Very trauma, I tell you!

This entry was posted on Monday, April 16th, 2007 at 7:30 am and is filed under Today In Ironfleet. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.