First blood in VampireZim Vengeance War Number Nine goes to Ironfleet. It happened like this.

For the last week or so there hasn’t been as much of the untouchable CLDRI Hictor/HAC/HAC gatecamp on the Tama gate in Nourv. VampireZim has been seen around Nourv, but he’s mostly been docked and AFK. Ironfleet operations have proceeded more or less normally despite the war.

Then, tonight, when I logged in, I noticed there were three relatively new players in system and flying the hostile CLDRI colors. Hmmm, I wondered to myself, stealth bomber food?

And then RapidTaco called for a fleet in the militia channel. One of the new meats in CLDRI promptly typed his X for a fleet invite. Then another, and another.

Now, I’ve flown with the speedy Mexican snack, and I know his methods. His rally points, in particular, are predictable. Tonight I was at the rally point in my stealth bomber, cloaked, before the CLDRI boys even arrived.

Then two of them arrived. Dragon Halk and Haraol. In Merlins. It was a turkey shoot, a pair of perfect one-volley kills. First Haraol:

2008.07.08 04:09:00

Victim: Haraol
Corp: Caldari State Militia
Alliance: NONE
Faction: Caldari State
Destroyed: Merlin
System: Nourvukaiken
Security: 0.8
Damage Taken: 1378

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: Caldari State
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile
Damage Done: 1378

Destroyed items:

Damage Control I
Foxfire Rocket, Qty: 940 (Cargo)
Cap Recharger I
Warp Disruptor I

Dropped items:

Ballistic Control System I
‘Malkuth’ Rocket Launcher I, Qty: 2
Foxfire Rocket, Qty: 60
125mm Railgun I, Qty: 2
Small Shield Extender I
Antimatter Charge S, Qty: 840 (Cargo)
Monopropellant I Hydrazine Boosters
Antimatter Charge S, Qty: 160

Then Dragon Halk:

2008.07.08 04:11:00

Victim: Dragon Halk
Corp: Caldari State Militia
Alliance: NONE
Faction: Caldari State
Destroyed: Merlin
System: Nourvukaiken
Security: 0.8
Damage Taken: 1389

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: Caldari State
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile
Damage Done: 1389

Destroyed items:

Ballistic Control System I
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 40
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 420 (Cargo)
Standard Missile Launcher I

Dropped items:

Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 40
Monopropellant I Hydrazine Boosters
Small Shield Extender I
Antimatter Charge S, Qty: 1000 (Cargo)
Standard Missile Launcher I
125mm Railgun I

One volley per Merlin, the combat logs looked like this:

Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Haraol [CLDRI](Merlin), doing 392.0 damage.
Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Haraol [CLDRI](Merlin), doing 458.6 damage.
Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Haraol [CLDRI](Merlin), doing 527.9 damage.

And:

Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Dragon Halk, doing 392.0 damage.
Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Dragon Halk, doing 437.1 damage.
Your Caldari Navy Wrath Cruise Missile hits Dragon Halk, doing 559.9 damage.

After Dragon Hulk went pop, I tried to target pods, but they, sensibly, warped away. About this time a third CLDRI target arrived on grid, but I also noticed that one of the fleet destroyers had closed with me, impeding my ability to recloak. I decided not to get greedy, so I warped out and docked.

Then I got curious — what did the fleet chatter sound like during all of this? I checked, and sure enough, I had some buddies in the fleet. Apparently there was a fair bit of consternation on fleet voice until folks figured out what was happening, after which it was “Merlins? No big deal then.” My buddy likes the blog, so he was kind enough to Evemail me the pertinent snippet of fleet chat. The CLDRI targets are in bold:

Acerbits > wut popped
Cobalt Crimson > who the hell is popping us?
Haraol > wtf
Brother Augustine > WE”VE BEEN COMPROMISED
Oxcidiax > wtf did he self destruct?
Haraol > no
Cobalt Crimson > someone sent cruises at him
Phoenix Red > no he didnt
Phoenix Red > harold pop
Acerbits > marlenus shooting
Darth Mikey > someone’s frig got shot
Brother Augustine > oh my fucking god
Brother Augustine > Marlenus is doing it
Dragon Halk > i just got here and im already dead lol
Cobalt Crimson > 72K off, uncloaked

Of course I’ve sent RapidTaco an explanatory email apologizing for disrupting his fleet operations and explaining the situation. As I told him, it purely sucks that people want to join fleet warfare and then disrupt the war effort by starting internecine corp wars. It’s rather a pity the FW mechanics don’t penalize this in any way. (They don’t; I can confirm that there were no standings hits of any kind for popping two members of CLDRI, a corporate member of the State Protectorate militia.) I would think a state militia would penalize its members for failing to put aside their differences for the duration — but no.

Amusingly, as I sit in station typing this, I am reliably informed that Zim and Max Threat and D34TH are waiting outside in their Onyx (heavy interdictor) and two Ishtars. Sorry boys, I don’t have any ships that can take that on, so you’re wasting your time.

I do find it both amusing and fitting that despite days spent camping the Tama gate in an apparent effort to make it harder for me and Jim Bridger to fly in FW fleets, VampireZim and the CLDRI boys seem never to have considered that their sword cuts two ways. Ironfleet may not be able to engage a Hictor and two HACs, but CLDRI is going to recruit young players, they will be just as susceptible as Ironfleet to suffering a bit of inconvenience forming up in fleets.

In conclusion, I still love my stealth bombers!

One Response to “Ironfleet Two, Zimsters Zero”

  1. Phlik says:

    That is a priceless moment. Thanks for the enjoyable reading. Keep up the good work.

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