Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

So I was minding my own business, autopiloting in a speed-fitted Executioner (frigate) around the galaxy collecting parts to build a couple of Gravity Capacitor Upgrade rigs (for faster scan probing). Suddenly through my cockpit window I notice a swarm of Hammerhead IIs chewing on each other.

Well, where the drones are swarming, salvage often follows. So I scroll out to get a sense of the tactical picture, and see a Curse attacking a Raven. Since the Curse is closing on the Raven, I select the Raven, hit “approach”, and hit my microwarp drive.

Beep beep! I felt like I was driving a little Nash Rambler with Roadrunner decals as I blew past the curse just as the Raven turned into a shiny yellow triangle. I whipped out my trusty wreck-opener (don’t leave home without it) and began stuffing battleship gear into my tiny frigate hold. Three Arbalest Siege Missile Launchers, an X-Large C5-L shield booster, some Tech II Magnetic Scattering Amplifiers, and I’m stuffed. No time to look over my shoulder and see whether this dearly departed battleship has friends, just hit the autopilot and GO GO GO! With another hearty “Beep beep!” and a cloud of thruster gas, I was Out Of There.

Inevitably, there was grumbling from the feller in the Curse. A convo request later and I’m hearing a demand and an insult. Not that the demand would have been satisfied in any case, but the insult made it a very short conversation:

Geoff C > return the stuff or face war noob
Marlenus > Insult? Bye.


A good thirty second’s salvage work if I do say so myself.

Yo, if you’re going to mine into a giant secure can, don’t forget to anchor the mofo first, mkay?

Kendolph, this means you. And thank you for the pyroxeres.

The moral of this story is, sometimes new characters drop great salvage.

A few days ago, I noticed the Alphabet Boys mining in one of the systems where I tend to hang out. I called them the Alphabet Boys because they were four of them mining in Bantams, and they were named assky, bssky, cssky, and dssky.

Now, normally I don’t mess with Bantam miners. Been there, done that, was glad to move past it. But, in my experience, groups like this, with names like that, grow up to be macro-miners, asteroid farmers, or worse. And besides, they were jettisoning Rich Plagioclase like it was sewage. So, over the course of several days, I several times grabbed up half a hauler full of ore that I found drifting in their vicinity.

During that process, I noticed that cssky was sometimes to be seen in an Osprey cruiser.

So this morning, I warp into the belt in my Crane to see bssky in his Bantam, mining into a jetcan “owned” (if things that have been jettisoned could be said to be owned) by cssky, who was present — but not mining — in the Osprey. As I approached the can, cssky warped away. I salvaged the abandoned ore, and — curious to see what cssky might be up to — hung around for a bit.

Back comes cssky, full of wrath and vengeance and light missiles. He’s had a chance to refit, and a Crane transport versus a properly fitted (not mining fitted) Osprey can get into a world of hurt. So I warp back to the dock, as cssky flashes an angry red in my rear view mirror.

Light missiles? And he was missing me with some kind of gun? That’s not a properly fitted (which is to say, that’s not a dangerous) Osprey.

So out of my transport I jumps, and into the Iron Crowbar, a salvage Ferox whose purpose in life is prying up salvage that’s not properly nailed down.

Back to the belts. Is friend cssky still there? Why yes, there he is, and in handy warp scramble range, too.

Pew pew pew. Remember the first rule of dealing with Ironfleet: our salvage vessels may look helpless, and sometimes they are. But we do have other ships, and when you open fire on us, we will shoot back.

In the event, it took less than three full volleys of mixed heavy missiles for cssky to go kaboom. I didn’t expect to get to salvage the wreck, because bssky was right beside it in a Bantam. But I targetted him just for fun, and as a distraction, while lumbering in for my salvage. And what to my wondering eye should appear in the wreck, but a tasty multi-million ISK Local Hull Conversion Expanded Cargo I?

To date, I think that’s the best thing that’s dropped from a ship that’s been foolish enough to shoot at Ironfleet salvage vessels.

The killmail was illuminating. The pair of Limos standard missile launchers on a cruiser is less than optimum, though fairly common. But lasers?


2007.02.14 17:08
Victim: cssky
Alliance: NONE
Corp: State War Academy
Destroyed: Osprey
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Involved parties:
Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.1
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Ferox
Weapon: Scourge Heavy Missile
Destroyed items:
Multifrequency S
Small Shield Booster I
Dual Light Beam Laser I
Dual Light Beam Laser I
Multifrequency S
Upgraded 'Limos' Standard Missile Bay I


One of the salvage activities I’ve enjoyed from my first weeks in the game is “busting” deep safespots. Back in the day — before probing was improved — it was apparently pretty safe to leave ships and gear drifting in safe spots far from the ecliptic. These days, not so safe. But it can still take quite a lot of scanning to find small items in deep safes. And it’s a lot of fun looking, you never know what you’ll find. I’ve found cruisers, industrials, cans full of torpedoes, once a shuttle full of expensive blueprints.

Today I found an old safespot, one belonging to a player who started in 2004. There was an anchored Giant Secure Can full of large ammo (which I can’t get at, drat it, unless I can guess the password), an empty shuttle named Cargo Container, and a combat-fitted Merlin frigate named — you guessed it — Cargo Container. Not a treasure, but fun to find. And of course I’ll save the location against the day that they ever decide to let stale unused Giant Secure Containers float free of their anchors. Scoop!

This entry is for the interest and convenience of the Ironfleet friends and allies who participated in last week’s mining operations. (You know who you are.)

Recap: Marlenus found a medium Spudomain / Crokite / Ochre belt in .4 space. During the two days it took us to mine out the belt, at least one other mining barge was observed in the belt.

Total Ores Recovered:

Spudomain (various flavors): 4003 units (64,048 cubic meters)
Crokite (various flavors): 3340 units (53,440 cubic meters)
Ochre (various flavors): 16777 units (134,216 cubic meters)

Total volume of ore recovered: 257,704 cubic meters (approximately 6.5 loads for the Tritanium Deliverer)

In the best available local refinery, I was able to achieve a 96.2% recovery rate, and paid 2.354% tax to the Caldari Navy. In addition, 1870 units of ore were left after the refine due to minimum volume requirements across nine ore types. We received:

Ore / Units / Market Value (est.) / Estimated Mineral Price

Zydrine / 16,607 / 35,289,875 ISK / 2,125
Nocxium / 22,881 / 8,511,732 ISK /372
Megacyte / 1,874 / 6,933,800 ISK / 3,700
Tritanium / 22,531 / 56,553 ISK / 2.51
Pyerite / 1,874 / 16,491 ISK /8.80

Total ISK value of recovered minerals: 50.8 million

Thanks to all who came! Your shares will be delivered forthwith.

You wouldn’t think a cargo ship should tangle with cruisers. But my Crane, as it happens, can fit a heavy missile launcher, and it’s a tough ship.

Today was typical. Warp into a belt, spot a fellow named Pooterhead mining in an Osprey. Near him was a jettisoned can, named to be a challenge: “Touch this can and die” or some such. Prophetic, as it happens.

Motor up to the can, dump the contents into my hold. Pew pew pew, he’s locking me. I can hear the pinging noise Bloodclaw light missiles make bouncing off my shields. Nope, I don’t need to turn on my shield booster, he’s barely ahead of my shield recharge rate. Turn on the warp scrambler, turn on the heavy missile launcher. He’s toast, he just doesn’t know it yet. Eventually, pop:


2007.01.24 21:42
Victim: Pooterhead
Alliance: NONE
Corp: QUANT Corp.
Destroyed: Osprey
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Involved parties:
Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.0
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Havoc Heavy Missile
Name: Guristas Imputor / Guristas


Destroyed items:
XeCl Drilling Beam I
XeCl Drilling Beam I
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 57


Aside from an entirely fair “Fuck you”, Pooterhead turned out not to be a smacker. From local, just after:


Pooterhead > FUck You
Rooker > ?
Pooterhead > came up, stole m,y ore, then scrammed and killed me
Griel > welcome to eve, n00b
Rooker > don't shoot back at things larger than you in a mining ship
Rooker > or shoot at*
Pooterhead > he was in a badger...forgot the t2s can have launchers =/
Marlenus > Don't feel bad, everyone forgets that
Pooterhead > lol
Rooker > haha.... battle badger ftw
Lagerstars > lol
Marlenus > It's too much fun *not* to do
Pooterhead > man, people down in 0.0 where i was for the last week r nicer then up here =)
Marlenus > I'm plenty nice to people who don't shoot at me
Marlenus > LOL, I'm not sure it's yours once you jettison it
Pooterhead > man, i knew i shoulda hauled at 2.5 k =/
Rooker > jetcan in amarr or gallente space. rarely anybody bothers you
Rooker > too many people in caldari space
Pooterhead > w/e i get my bc skill in 2.5 hrs
Marlenus > Suggestion? Don't name your cans to be a challenge, it makes it harder to pass them up
Pooterhead > lol
Pooterhead > it was made to ward off frigs
Rooker > another suggestion. T2 drones + 2pt scram
Rooker > ceptor thieves love it :)
Marlenus > Ah, I see. ;-) Two limos launchers probably would deal with frigs
Pooterhead > im workin on t2 drones as soon as i get my ferox up and running
Marlenus > Although it's hard to salvage enough ore in a frig to be worth the time, I'd think
Pooterhead > ud be suprised, ive had ibis take my ore lmao
Marlenus > LOL, I prefer to move the stuff in industrial quantities
Pooterhead > yea me 2 but mining with one highslot in a badger takes WEEKS


Notable salvage proceeds: ore, plus a pair of Upgraded Limos light missile launchers.

Hi, folks, Marlenus here, CEO of Ironfleet and the guy you’ll hear from most at Ironfleet.com.

I’m a bit of an odd duck when it comes to ship preferences. I like cargo ships. The bigger the better.

My favorite thing to do with cargo ships is to scoop stuff, usually stuff that other people left floating in space. (You would be amazed at the goodies people leave floating in space.)

So there I was, conducting my daily sweep of the belts in my home system of the hour, when what to my wondering eye should appear but a bunch of frigates, mining into a pair of Giant Secure Cans. Only these were Giant Insecure Cans, because their navigation lights were flashing green.

Worthy salvage for Ironfleet.

A quick bookmark and warp to zero later: *scoop* *scoop* and Ironfleet is richer by two expensive containers and about 6000 cubic meters of Azure Plagioclase.

Initial response from former owners was confused but polite:


TheJudge UK > whats the point in that
Marlenus > I'm sorry?
TheJudge UK > well give the stuff back
Marlenus > I don't understand.
TheJudge UK > is that all you want to do is steal others containers
Marlenus > All? Steal? By no means. But salvaging loose cans is indeed a favorite activity of mine.
TheJudge UK > those cans where ours abd they where anchored
Marlenus > Sorry friend, if they were anchored I could not have scooped them
TheJudge UK > it sucks you want to take 500,000.00 worth of can from next to us
TheJudge UK > holding 1000,000.00 worth ore
Marlenus > Next to you had nothing to do with it, I sweep these belts every day for lost and jettisoned items, I scoop them all. I'm a salvager, it's what I do.
TheJudge UK > maybe thats a side of the game we dont see
Marlenus > I think so
TheJudge UK > we have only been paying 4 days
Marlenus > You need anchoring skill to use those cans safely, then nobody can touch them
TheJudge UK > we didnt expect all our stuff that we mined to be robbed
Marlenus > Alas, you didn't anchor, you may have thought you did but you didn't
TheJudge UK > we did
TheJudge UK > with passwords
Marlenus > You should expect *anything* you jettison to be removed unless you anchor it.
Marlenus > The password controls who can open the can
Marlenus > You need to right click and "launch for corp" or "launch for self" in order to anchor
TheJudge UK > obviously we need to understand more
TheJudge UK > thanks
Marlenus > Good luck!
TheJudge UK > cheers
Marlenus > Ironfleet out


It went downhill from there. I begin getting smacky convos:


TD MADEYE > im going to destroy your fuckin ship
Marlenus > You should have shot when you had the chance? I waited....
TD MADEYE > dont worry your gonna get it
Marlenus > Thank you friend, indeed I shan't worry


Suddenly I’m being trailed by several frigates and a couple of destroyers, all of them locking me. Not sure what their plan is — I’m not flashing red to anyone — but the smack in local is getting hot. Retarded, but hot. Sample:


Aaeko > ran away eh?
Marlenus > LOL, I sat there for ten minutes waiting for you guys to do something, then I went back to salvaging
TD MADEYE > as soon as we had you in range you warped pussy
TD MADEYE > what you did was not salvage it was stealing
Marlenus > Matter of opinion
TD MADEYE > we were there mining and you stole our shit
Marlenus > I scooped some unanchored cans, it's true.
Marlenus > But I do that every day, I keep the local belts clean
TD FITZ > so fuck off from here asshole
Marlenus > LOL, I *live* here, this is my home system


And then TheJudge could restrain himself no longer. Under the watchful eye of Concord — who were actually present in the belt at that moment, due to some unknown earlier mishap — I see:


(notify) TheJudge UK (Merlin) has started trying to warp scramble you.
(notify) CONCORD Police Officer has started trying to warp scramble TheJudge UK (Merlin)
(notify) CONCORD Police Commander has started trying to warp scramble TheJudge UK (Merlin)


There followed an enormous kaboom. And Merlin fittings to salvage.

And oh, my, the smack:


TD FITZ > i hope i meet ur sister out here some day and fuck her like u did 2 us asshole
TD FITZ > thats 2 u marlenus
Marlenus > Oh my, really?
TD FITZ > oh my yes
Marlenus > It worked for The Judge
TD FITZ > he was looking at ur mother
Marlenus > Perhaps next time he should look at his instrument panel, hmm?
TD FITZ > ask ur mon she knows
Aaeko > rofl
Marlenus > Yes, we are rolling on the floor at that cuttting bit of incisive wit.
TD FITZ > yea he fucks sheep 2
Aaeko > Bahhhhh

TD FITZ > u like 2 get fuck in the ass
Marlenus > He has *two*, count them TWO, insults in his repertoire!
TD FITZ > i got more
Marlenus > Don't strain yourself, I don't think you've worn these two out yet
TD FITZ > ur sihp looks like a cow u like 2 fuck cows
Marlenus > Whoo, I am humiliated now
TD FITZ > ur mom looks likes a cow
Aaeko > Hey got a container here for you Marlenus, Its full of your mothers shitty knickers.
TD FITZ > and ur sister
TD FITZ > its true then
Harris Hharav > bad form people
Marlenus > But Harris, they're having so much fun!
TD FITZ > he started
TD FITZ > we r we r
Marlenus > LOL, check the logs, the smack didn't start here
DadVer20 > marlenus i must say sorry for them i tryed to explain to the you suffer from a small penis
TD FITZ > it started when u stole our shit
TheJudge UK > OMG can you come and get you mum she has shit her self again
TheJudge UK > get the fuck off me bitch
Marlenus > Boys, the level of banter isn't really high enough to keep me interested, so I'm going AFK a bit. Don't let that stop you, though, I'm sure you have reserves of scatology you've not yet plumbed.


And that’s a typical few minute’s work for Ironfleet. (Although, to be fair, I usually get a better quality of smack, these guys were hindered by limited vocabulary and even more limited imagination.)