Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

Wow, has it really been eight months?

I’ve been having a bad case of EVE burnout, the worst ever for me. And my log says it’s been 266 days since I’ve blown anybody up.

That. Simply. Will. Not. Do.

So I’ve been back in the game for a few days, and I decided to jump into one of my old combat Cranes and go see if there’s still anybody left in EVE who will fall for the old “helpless hauler” trick.

I went and buzzed a few belts, when what to my wondering eye should appear but a whole 3-man corporation, none of them as old as a week, mining in a Bantam, an Osprey, and a Badger, with lasers shining from all three ships. Could it be that Asteroid Mining Corporation [AM.CO] would give me some sport?

Despite the Badger on the scene, they had a couple of jet cans out with paltry bits of ore. I scooped those.

No response.

They also had a rat wreck there, so I went and looted it. Then the Bantam jetted another can. I went and scooped that.

Finally, some reaction. The Osprey mining cruiser started to lock me up.

I locked him back, which always takes a while in the Crane. Before I’m done, I hear whooshing missiles. Sweet! A customer!

My lock completed, I tried to point him. I get the Concord warning. It’s laggier than I remember — missiles are hitting me for trivial damage, but he’s still not flashy red. That always takes longer than you think, but finally he goes flashy. Pointed! And then I began to piss on him from a height with my heavy missile launcher.

A properly fit Osprey cruiser — especially if in “bait” mode — can give me a serious run. But not one that’s piloted by a three-day-old-pilot and mounting a single afterthought assault missile launcher in mining mode:

2011.04.06 22:17:00

Victim: Kane Redeemer
Corp: Asteroid Mining Corporation
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Osprey
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 3174

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Havoc Fury Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 3172

Name: Guristas Imputor / Guristas
Damage Done: 2

Destroyed items:

75mm Gatling Rail I (Cargo)
Miner II
Warrior I, Qty: 4 (Drone Bay)
Pyroxeres, Qty: 2485 (Cargo)
ECM – Spatial Destabilizer I (Cargo)

Dropped items:

‘Arbalest’ Assault Missile Launcher
Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 2
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 19
Small Nosferatu I (Cargo)
Miner II, Qty: 2
Mining Laser Upgrade I
Bloodclaw Light Missile, Qty: 1850 (Cargo)

I never saw the Warriors; my guess is that in the excitement he forgot to launch them — I know I’ve done that! It’s even possible this was his first-ever ship loss, if he was genuinely new to EVE. (But he had good gear for his age, so I’m dubious about that.) To his credit, he did not snivel; he stayed silent in local until I finished blowing the Osprey, then warped away his pod.

It was fun once, but what I want is another ambitious Hulk pilot to play with.

Jim Bridger, here. Marlenus has already told the story of our Atron gank last night. But I wanted to add the cherry on the top of the sundae. This morning the Atron popped up on the top of my current alliance killboard in the banner showing the five “Most Expensive Kills In The Last Seven Days” listing. Sure, it’s the cheapest of the five, but I’ll take it! (Click image to see full size):

Well, young Jim Bridger has upheld some of the finest traditions of Steelfleet tonight, even if he does fly for somebody else these days.

The evening did not start well. He shot at something in the Maelstrom. It must have been a stupid shot, because he won’t tell me what he shot at.

He missed. Poof. After insurance, about 30 million ISK down the drain.

We kept hunting. Came upon an Atron in Amarr.

It was just hanging at a stargate, pilot snoozing like they do. Cargo scanner showed a couple of mutherfrackin’ +5 implants and a ton of tags. Market said it was close to a quarter billion ISK in cargo.

Jim said “You wait right here. I’ll be back.”

And he went and got a Thrasher. Atrons can be tough little frigates and he didn’t want to miss this one, so I think he spent six or seven million fitting it out all Tech II. But about five minutes later, he was back. Atron pilot was still snoozing.

One shot, one kill. All goodies dropped, I scooped. I love it when a salvage op comes together:

2010.08.12 03:04:00

Victim: Driver M
Corp: University of Caille
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Atron
System: Amarr
Security: 1.0
Damage Taken: 805

Involved parties:

Name: Jim Bridger (laid the final blow)
Security: 2.7
Corp: Steel Fleet
Alliance: Important Internet Spaceship League
Faction: NONE
Ship: Thrasher
Weapon: 280mm Howitzer Artillery II
Damage Done: 805

Destroyed items:

1MN MicroWarpdrive I
Small Auxiliary Thrusters I, Qty: 3
Overdrive Injector System II

Dropped items:

Small Capacitor Battery II
Overdrive Injector System II
Small Standard Container (Cargo)
Ocular Filter – Improved (In Container)
Republic Fleet High Captain Insignia I, Qty: 84 (In Container)
Republic Fleet Captain Insignia I, Qty: 10 (In Container)
Neural Boost – Improved (In Container)

Jim tells me that the Amarr market buy order offer prices on the loot that dropped was about 242 million ISK. Of course I expect Ironfleet’s cut to arrive any day now…

I like Jim’s opening volley, not bad for a destroyer:

[ 2010.08.12 03:04:07 ] (combat) Your group of 280mm Howitzer Artillery II hits Driver M (Atron), doing 805.6 damage.

Nothing real notable about this one but the T2 cargo expanders in the lowslots, and that doesn’t mean what it used to:

2010.07.08 23:53:00

Victim: Vordi
Corp: Science and Trade Institute
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Osprey
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 6897

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Havoc Fury Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 6646

Name: Guristas Imputor / Guristas
Damage Done: 251

Destroyed items:

Rich Plagioclase, Qty: 691 (Cargo)
Expanded Cargohold II
Tungsten Charge S, Qty: 100 (Cargo)
Small Shield Booster I
Sabretooth Light Missile, Qty: 23
Small Capacitor Booster I
Mining Drone I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)
Small Energy Neutralizer I (Cargo)

Dropped items:

Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 2
Miner I, Qty: 3
1MN Afterburner I
Assault Missile Launcher I
Mining Drone I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

I’ll say this for him. It took a while, and he did not blubber.

It’s important to remember: even a newb can be careful/paranoid.

Today I encountered one Monrew, member of Galactic Exporters [GAL-X], jet-can mining in an Osprey in Kaimon. I flipped quite a lot of Azure Plagioclase into an Ironfleet can.

Fellow did not want to fight, warped prudently away.

I took what I could carry, resumed my tour of the belts.

Finished my tour of the belts, returned to my can.

Found him there, in a Badger II, on a vector for my can. Awesome!

I locked him up and started “racing” for the can.

He grabbed the contents, started flashing red. I turned on my warp disruptor, started lobbing heavy missiles. They were hitting for 300+ each. I thought I had a kill.

Then he warped away. Sneaky bugger was stabbed!

Good job, Monrew. You can never be too careful.

Remember the Osprey pilot from the other day who contributed two of the six GSCs I yoinked?

Well, his name is Schwen. Apparently he and his buddy still haven’t figured out what makes a giant secure container “secure”.

Found him today Osprey-mining into a total of eight unanchored GSCs, of which six were full. One quick visit in my trusty Bustard later…well, as they used to say on Dr. Katz, you know what the music means.

Twice today, twice I tell you, I’ve gotten faction spawns in .7 belts.

The first time I’d annoyed a mining Osprey until he warped off, then was waiting for him to return. Instead, a Dread Gurista Arrogator frigate spawned. I engaged it with heavy missile in my Crane, a slow process, when a newbie ratting in a caracal showed up. He started shooting too, but not in time. Kaboom, my wreck.

But, uh, he’s closer to it than me. Does he know it’s worth a quick scoot-n-scoop?

Apparently not — I crawled to the wreck and was rewarded with ammo, tag, a Dread Gurista small shield booster, and a DG invul. Nice!

[Updated insert: ZOMG, I am an idiot. I looked at the Dread Gurista Invulnerability Field, noted the stats were the same as Caldari Navy, and did a quick contracts check that I must have flailed somehow. Because I failed to discover that it's a freaking 400 million ISK piece of loot! "Nice" doesn't even begin to cover it ... this is the single best item of loot in my Eve career to date.]

Then, a bit later, in another .7 system, I noticed a Hulk wreck and was going to check it out when an unlooted Dread Gurista wreck nearby caught my eye. Went to check it out and you could have knocked me over with a feather:

In all my eve career, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen a ship blueprint drop of any kind. And it was just laying there in space, waiting to be salvaged!

I love my job.

Marlenus here. Jim Bridger finally shamed me into logging on.

After his recent battle Mammoth fun, I thought about setting up a classic BattleBadger. But, truth to tell, I don’t have Jim’s skill in small weapons. So I decided to stick with one of my old trusty combat Cranes.

Out to the belts. Second belt I checked, there’s a Retriever and an Osprey mining into a cluster of Giant Secure Cans. And by cluster, I mean six of them … a tight cluster, without the minimum 5 kilometer separation needed for anchoring.

Sadly, ever since they redesigned the graphics for the cans, my broken color vision makes it impossible for me to see whether a Giant Secure Can is anchored or not. There used to be a red nav light on anchored cans and a green one on unanchored ones, hard to see but distinguisable. In the redesign, they took this off, or made the shading more subtle, I’m not sure which … but now, the only way I can tell if a can is scoopable is to see it too near another can.

This cluster: too obvious to miss.

So, back I went for the big rigged bustard. Warp to the cluster of cans, silently scoop them. As my old friends in Suddenly Ninjas would have said: YOINK!

There was no sign that anybody noticed, so I docked.

Judging by the names, four of the cans “belonged” to the Retriever pilot, two of them “belonged” to the Osprey pilot. Between the six cans, there were four full cans-worth of Azure Plagioclase.

Then I went to lunch. When I came back, I had the following Notification in my mailbox:

Your contact level has been modified
From: Goa’ul Ra
Sent: 2010.06.22 17:57

Goa’ul Ra has changed your contact level to Terrible Standing

u mother f***ker i will get u

Charmed, I’m sure.

Remember, boys and girls, a Giant Secure Can is only secure when it has been anchored. That is all!

So. Yesterday. Your trusty correspondent Jim Bridger is still stuck in high sec waiting for a jump clone timer. Can flipping in an armed destroyer is a little too … obvious and is not passing the time. I’m remembering how much fun Marlenus used to have in the combat Cranes, but I can’t fly a Crane, and I don’t have a Prowler available inside of thirty jumps. I check the market, but they’re more than sixty million, and this 0.0 PvP stuff has left me skint.

Obviously, there’s nothing for it but to step next door into Jita and set up a nice cheap battle Mammoth.

A short fitting flurry later, the Pissed Pachyderm is patrolling the belts. What’s this? A Retriever mining barge, jet can out, flying a single Hornet I drone? Surely that’s got to be bait, right?

Quick check, the pilot has a corp, only one other pilot in the corp, not in system. He’s on his own.

Motor motor motor. Battle Mammoth is not speedy. Motor motor motor. Can is getting closer.

Pass my time investigating the pilot, one Xhaine. He’s a… what? Ohshit noshit, he’s a freakin’ 2003 character? I smell herring and buttfuckery.

But if I chicken out and shy away from this juiciest of battle Mammoth targets, I might as well put the ship away. Plus, here’s the can, and it’s mostly full of the juiciest veldspar. Take what I can put in the Mammoth, flip the rest. It’s my way.

He’s locking me. The Retriever is locking me. I start locking him back, waiting nervously for four Warrior IIs or some sort of long-forgotten unobtainium GM’s-handed-them-out-as-loot-in-some-2004-event Drones-O-Death to launch and start nibbling my kidneys.

He’s locked. Still just one Hornet on me. He’s webbed, he’s pointed, and I am autocannoning him about the head and shoulders.

Faster than you’d think, he pops. No surprises, no tricks. Just kaboomage. Turns out he didn’t even have a fitting on the barge, just two strip miners and four mining drones he wasn’t using:

2010.06.21 02:11

Victim: Xhaine
Corp: Internet Gods Inc.
Alliance: None
Faction: NONE
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 2241

Involved parties:

Name: Jim Bridger (laid the final blow)
Security: 5.0
Corp: Steel Fleet
Alliance: Important Internet Spaceship League
Faction: NONE
Ship: Mammoth
Weapon: 200mm AutoCannon II
Damage Done: 2089

Name: Thorn Rocket / Guristas
Damage Done: 152

Destroyed items:

Dense Veldspar, Qty: 16953 (Cargo)
Mining Drone I (Drone Bay)

Dropped items:

Strip Miner I, Qty: 2
Mining Drone I, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)

If I’ve ever shot at an ’03 character before, I don’t know it. And I still can’t quite figure this guy. A seven-year-old mining alt would be in a better barge, surely? Even a purchased character shouldn’t be that broke — anybody with the billions to make the buy would have some more isk available for the purchased character, right? Just can’t figure out how anybody could be simultaneously that old, that broke, and that clueless.

But it was a great first outing for the Pissed Pachyderm!

Got a double-deep-space message beacon from Jim Bridger late last night, flash priority. Signal quality was so bad, I thing the message drone must have had a hell of a trip before it ever got withing range of a Concord beacon.

Bottom line sounds like Jim’s deep in a wormhole complex, staring at an offline tower surrounded by most of a deathstar’s armaments, just sittin’ there waiting for an adventurous salvage corp to come along. I’m supposed to round up some battleships and haulers (and shovels and rakes and implements of destruction) and be ready to haul ass halfway across the known universe, when-and-if Jim finds some deeply-implausible chain of wormholes that doesn’t lead back to the ass-end of Syndicate where he started.

I called up the Empress of Greater Mars (you remember her? She’s the lady who managed the logistics for my one long sojourn into wormhole space) and she’s game. She’s standing by with the wormhole-fit laser battleship and an impressive array of hauler minions.

So now we wait. Updates as events warrant.

Update, a day later: The wormholes were not friendly; there’s currently no good route for the ships needed to get in there, and the mods to be salvaged aren’t worth using a bad route. So I parked a probing minion in there to wait for better wormhole conjunctions.

On a brighter note, while exploring wormhole chains I found a very-badly-defended (but alive and shields up) small tower with an Orca parked inside the shields. That’s more than Ironfleet can handle, so I passed the intel along to TEARS, in hopes that some of the merry thugs in that fine organization may be able to put together the small expedition required to liberate that Orca.