I went moon surveying tonight, checking out all the POS installations in my system to see what sort of abandoned junk might be available for scooping. And indeed, at one POS I found eight giant secure cans, neatly lined up 5km apart in a gentle arc just outside the force field, named “POS Can 1” through “POS Can 8”.

Oddly, these were not anchored. They scooped nicely. Here’s what it looked like as I was scooping container #4:

scooping some unattended salvage

Sadly, all but one of the cans were empty. #7, however, turned out to be full of oxygen and robotics:

loot from a found can

The robotics alone are worth $6.8 million ISK; the eight cans are worth another another 2.2 mil, for a haul of about nine million ISK. Not bad for quiet and peaceful scooping!

Wow, how long has it been since I had a chance to defend an Ironfleet can with heavy missiles? Months, I think.

Tonight, I did, though. And how!

As I mentioned in the last post, I’ve been forced to do a bit of mission running lately, for standings. I finally worked my way up to a high-quality Level III agent in a convenient location, and so last night I began to relocate my fleet into that system so I can work out of there when I simply can’t stand the fork-to-the-face boredom that is mission running.

So, tonight I took the Crane out for a sweep of the belts, hoping to haul some ore before getting down to missions. And I saw an unusual thing: a guy, member of a corp in an alliance, who’s been playing four months longer than me, jet-can mining … in a Retriever. Flying a full set of mixed Tech 1 combat drones.

Needless to say, I was suspicious it might be a trap. Checked the graphics, yup, he’s got two lasers running; check the can ownership, yup it’s his can at least. No telling how many friends he’s got, though, just waiting a short warp away to pwn the careless and greedy.

Still, faint heart never won fair lady. I approached the can. Hey, it’s mostly full of plagioclase! So I grabbed a Craneload, flipped the rest into an Ironfleet jetcan, and hauled ore for the station.

Hauling all that in a Crane is not going to be easy — better to use a bigger hauler after the agro timer expires. So, I’ll jump in the handy Cerberus and go guard the Ironfleet can.

Remember my Cerberus? Have I mentioned my Cerberus? INDY was flying one against me during Chebri’s War, and I admired it. A lot. So I finished the necessary skilling, and bought one. It’s a hangar queen and a toy, mostly, but I luvs it to death and polishes it to a high shine every Saturday afternoon, whether it needs it or not. Aside from one brief-but-exciting encounter with a Vagabond, I haven’t had a chance to do any combat flying with it, although it blows through low-level missions like you would NOT believe. Overkillus Maximus!

Speaking of overkill…

When my Cerberus came out of warp thirty clicks from the Ironfleet can, there was no Ironfleet can.

What there was, was a flashing red Retriever. Really? Oh no, he didn’t!

Oh, yes, he did.

Lock, fire. In my haste, I somehow managed to miss turning on one heavy missile launcher, and I forgot to load the fancy missiles. So the first volley of four is on its way. Is he going to flee?

Let’s go to the videotape:

Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 184.9 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 184.9 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 225.6 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 231.2 damage.

Volley one! Is he fleeing? Why, no, he’s sent his drones after me. He wants to fight!

Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf places an excellent hit on you, inflicting 13.8 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf hits you, doing 8.6 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 11.6 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 10.9 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 10.6 damage.

Oooh, that smarted! Volley two, away!

Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 231.1 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 290.3 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 308.2 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 308.2 damage.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.

Oops, that was fast.

A moment’s pause. And then, in local:

ArcticIcewolf > Marlenus you fucking prick

I decide not to dignify that with a response, but there’s a bystander:

Waxau > lol
Waxau > NERD RAGE!

Here’s the killmail:

Victim: ArcticIcewolf
Alliance: Chances of Misfortune
Corp: Hearts of Obsidian
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 2067

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.2
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Cerberus
Weapon: Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1964

Name: Thorn Rocket / Guristas
Damage Done: 103

Destroyed items:

Strip Miner I

Dropped items:

Strip Miner I

So, I’m closing with the wreck to scoop that stripminer, and I’m thinking, this guy’s been playing longer than I have, he’s in an allianced corp, he should know better. What was he thinking?

I scooped the miner, flipped all the plagioclase back into an Ironfleet can, filled my cargo hold, and docked. Decided to go back and guard the can some more, until it’s safe to take a hauler in.

Back I went. In the Cerberus. Parked about 70 clicks out.

Here comes ArcticIcewolf, still flashing red, in an industrial (Bestower). I guess he still wants the ore. Doesn’t he know better?

Apparently, not:

Victim: ArcticIcewolf
Alliance: Chances of Misfortune
Corp: Hearts of Obsidian
Destroyed: Bestower
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 1956

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.2
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Cerberus
Weapon: Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1956

Destroyed items:

Civilian Expanded Cargohold, Qty: 2

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he’s been playing since December of 2005 and he’s fitted his hauler with CIVILIAN EXPANDED CARGOHOLDS!

By now, I figure he’s mad, but there’s been no further smack in local. I continue guarding the can until the agro wears off, and meanwhile, I strike up a chat with a friendly bored hulk pilot. We’re talking about unrelated stuff, he mentions an ISK windfall he just got, and I mention a market killing I made once due to another player’s error. Suddenly, we’re hearing from ArcticIcewolf in local. During the conversation you are about to read, I had time to haul all the ore in my Crane (sadly, I didn’t have a larger hauler in system, so it took about four trips) and then come back in my salvage destroyer to salvage both of ArcticIcewolf’s wrecks. My favorite part of what follows is where ArcticIcewolf explains that he can’t fight because he has a life, and thus cannot play enough to afford any combat vessels:

09:04:54: ArcticIcewolf > hey you cant help being an asshole its in your nature
09:05:03: Marlenus > Lol, still chafing are we?
09:05:17: ArcticIcewolf > just a tad
09:05:38: Marlenus > Honestly I’m not sure why you came back in the hauler when I had an Ironfleet can to defend.
09:06:15: Lord Vindicarious > Did you boys get in a pissing match?
09:06:22: ArcticIcewolf > well concidering you stole all my shit i dunno think bout it
09:06:30: Marlenus > Naw, just an altercation over ore floating in space
09:06:42: Marlenus > Cerberus versus retriever, it was fast but ugly
09:06:43: ArcticIcewolf > yeah fucker stole my ore
09:07:03: Marlenus > actually, you were flashing for taking ore from an Ironfleet can, if we must be precise
09:07:23: ArcticIcewolf > because you stole the shit put it back out as yours
09:07:36: Lord Vindicarious > Tisk, tisk
09:07:50: Marlenus > All that fit, I kept, and I’m still hauling it as we speak.
09:07:52: Lord Vindicarious > Honestly, that’s what you get for not using a secure can
09:08:01: Gregory Wallace > sounds shady
09:08:07: ArcticIcewolf > oh that justifies it ?
09:08:26: Lord Vindicarious > Well, yeah that’s what you get for being a dumbass
09:08:30: Marlenus > You make it sound like I was trying to be deceptive, when I was just doing good honest salvage.
09:08:36: Marlenus > Of ore jettisoned into space.
09:09:19: Lord Vindicarious > People can only take what is unsecured
09:09:51: ArcticIcewolf > Lets see its rite next to me and you take it and then Rejettison it as your own, thats Honest ?
09:10:15: Marlenus > Just cleaning up the spaceways, one of the services Ironfleet Towing And Salvage is always happy to provide!
09:10:21: Gregory Wallace > someone picking a fight is what it was
09:10:32: Marlenus > Nah, somebody hauling ore is what it was.
09:10:41: ArcticIcewolf > its you being a dooshbag
09:10:52: Lord Vindicarious > And if you are flying a mining barge, you really shouldn’t jetison unsecure cans unless you WANT some prick to to pick a fight with you
09:10:55: Marlenus > I didn’t really expect the guy in the mining barge to pick an actual fight.
09:11:21: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, sorry but you get no sympathy
09:11:41: ArcticIcewolf > lol why because you just as disshonest as him ?
09:11:47: Lord Vindicarious > Nope
09:11:53: ArcticIcewolf > really
09:12:02: Lord Vindicarious > I never bother stealing ore, it isn’t worth my time
09:12:07: Gregory Wallace > with mining u have to have muscle with u- have a buddy or two cloak a recon by u
09:12:09: ArcticIcewolf > standing up for a disshonest player dont really put high marks on your moral opinions
09:12:42: Lord Vindicarious > However, if I am in my salvager and there are unclaimed wrecks laying about, I’ll salvage them
09:13:10: ArcticIcewolf > even if they rite next to the miner and you know whos it is
09:13:31: Lord Vindicarious > If you are in the belt, i’ll ask first
09:14:08: ArcticIcewolf > well great for you , but marlenus is as disshonest as they come
09:14:15: Lord Vindicarious > But as to your origional gripe of somebody flipping your can, sorry but that is like the oldest trick in eve of picking a fight with somebody
09:14:42: Lord Vindicarious > He did it so you would give him a reason to be able to shoot you
09:15:02: Marlenus > Actually, Lord V, that’s where you are wrong — nobody believes me but I really do do this for the ore.
09:15:25: Marlenus > I was in a T2 transport when this all started, hauling.
09:15:26: ArcticIcewolf > why cant earn your own
09:15:39: Marlenus > It is my own once it’s in my hangar.
09:15:47: Lord Vindicarious > LOL
09:16:22: Lord Vindicarious > I’ll tell you what though Mar, if you ever tried taking MY ore I’d kick your ass
09:16:39: Lord Vindicarious > I wouldn’t just whine about it in local
09:16:59: Lord Vindicarious > (hint hint)
09:17:00: Marlenus > I can respect that. Whether you’d succeed is an open question, but that’s a perfectly respectable approach to take.
09:17:30: ArcticIcewolf > hint all you like lord, some of us have a lifes and arnt on enough to earn biggger badder ships to fight back
09:18:29: Lord Vindicarious > I’m only on for about an hour or so a day, I think I “have a life” thank you
09:18:38: Marlenus > No salvage on the mining barge. :(
09:19:20: Marlenus > couple of burned logic circs from the hauler wreck
09:19:44: Lord Vindicarious > However, that being said, I’ve been playing eve since 2003, so I think I just might have the combat skills to kick your ass Mar if we are both in the same type of ship
09:19:56: Marlenus > Of that, I have NO doubt.
09:20:01: Lord Vindicarious > LOL
09:20:01: Marlenus > I am not a combat pilot…
09:20:14: Marlenus > …and I try very hard to start any fights with an overwhelming tonnage advantage.
09:21:05: Lord Vindicarious > Drones are nice, too
09:21:19: Marlenus > But I am very very good at getting ore out from under the guns of combat escorts, you might be surprised, once.
09:21:39: Marlenus > Having the element of surprise helps a lot
09:21:48: ArcticIcewolf > well, i do respect that you are honest about being Disshonest
09:22:06: Marlenus > You made up that dishonesty part, I see nothing dishonest about salvage
09:22:18: ArcticIcewolf > thats not salvage thats thievery
09:22:36: Marlenus > I believe we disagree on that point.
09:23:06: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, this point is getting a bit stale
09:23:07: ArcticIcewolf > nothing made up, your a poor player, you just admitted a few sentences up about being very good at getting ore from uder other players noses
09:23:25: Marlenus > Not “admitted”, rather I think I was bragging just a bit
09:23:40: Marlenus > And I don’t consider that any sign of being a poor player
09:24:02: Marlenus > Lord V, if you think it’s stale, how do you think I feel? I hear this sort of thing quite often, as you might imagine. ;-)
09:24:32: Lord Vindicarious > Artic, I’m sorry but when you consider the nature of this game then you have nobody to blame but yourself
09:24:40: ArcticIcewolf > if you hear it quite often then i’d prob say your logic of thinking nothing is wrong is missconstrued
09:24:47: Lord Vindicarious > DON’T USE UNSECURED CANS
09:24:56: Marlenus > Well, somebody’s logic has a problem, I’ll grant you that much.
09:25:11: ArcticIcewolf > I can respect that Lord but, to say he was rite in his actions is not rite
09:26:02: Lord Vindicarious > I am NOT saying he is right, I AM saying however that YOU are wrong for using unsecured cans and not expecting to be stolen from
09:27:46: Marlenus > Good night gentlemen, it has a been a pleasure providing salvage services and public entertainments to the good citizens of [redacted].
09:27:58: Gregory Wallace > night
09:27:59: Marlenus > Ironfleet out.
09:27:59: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, night

I think I’ll leave you with a bit of bedtime poetry (for it is far past my bedtime as I write this.) This is copied, verbatim, all spelling and punctuation unchanged, I shit you not (although I did add line breaks) from ArcticIcewolf’s bio:

I Hunt in the deepest and darkest reaches of Space,
I hunt those who wrong others,
I hunt where no man dares to go,
I protect those who cannot defend themselfs,
I hunt those who believe in enslavement of others,
I will not Rest
I can Not die,
therefor I am like the Wolfs of thee Arctic on our Homeworld whome we Lost contact with long long ago,
I run with the pack I die with the pack,
the only problem is,
;) the pack never dies!!

It pains me to to admit it, but lately I’ve been running some missions to improve my faction at stations where I do a lot of refining and reprocessing. I’ve never been a big mission runner, though, and one of the reasons is that the loot tables are so boring and predictable. I’ve always felt that a good MMORPG loot table should have a chance of dropping unexpected goodies, and most of the loot tables in EVE, sadly, just don’t. (The unpredictable loot tables for player loot drops, however, more than make up for this deficiency.)

Imagine my surprise, then, when I was doing a Level II “Save A Man’s Career” in a .7 system, to find a +1 Charisma implant (Limited Social Adaptation Chip) in the wreck (*not* the loot can or the mission reward) of the named guy (Sangrel Minn) I was supposed to kill in the mission. In all my Eve career, I’ve never heard of implants for boosting basic stats dropping from mission rats (although I have gotten two fancy implants off of dread gurista belt rats).

I simply did not know this was possible. It’s nice to be surprised, even if the implant itself is not terribly useful.

Hi, this was posted yesterday in the official forums, but very oddly only in the Missions And Explorations channel — there were no patch notes or other public notices, meaning that if you are a salvager but not a mission runner, you might never have heard about it. Posted by GM Ytterbium:


This is caution for all players currently engaged in mission running activities. The wreck ownership mechanism has recently been changed, and as such will not belong to the character doing most damage to the NPC anymore, but to the pilot who first accepted the mission.

The EVE Online Customer Support Team advises extra wariness when doing missions in a fleet with members, as doing any kind of damage to a wreck not belonging to your corporation will result in CONCORD intervention. Since this remains within normal game-play, Game Masters will remain of little assistance regarding vessels lost in such a fashion.

Also, this change has nothing to do with salvaging rights themselves as they remain untouched. Players are still completely free to salvage other pilot wrecks at will, no matter if they belong to the same corporation or not and doing so is not considered as an exploit.

Many thanks for your understanding,

Best regards,
Senior GM Ytterbium
EVE Customer Support Team

If I’m understanding this properly, it protects mission runners from that certain form of interference where someone probes down their mission, then kills and loots the mission mobs — which can, in some missions, make the mission impossible to complete. It could still happen, now, but at least the mission runner would have shooty recourse.

It shouldn’t affect Ironfleet at all, as we have never done this — we almost never shoot at wrecks, so we don’t much care who owns them, and I don’t think we’ve ever tried to kill a mission-loot bearing mob before the mission runner does. It wouldn’t be against corporate policy — salvage is salvage, and sometimes you have to shoot it first so it doesn’t twitch while the salvagers are running — but for me personally, the difficulty seems to outweigh the profit, especially as the stuff is usually worthless to anybody but the mission runner. It would really need to be some carrot-juice drinking Enemy of Ironfleet before it would be worth the bother — and in that case, the wreck ownership won’t matter.

Of greatest interest to Ironfleet is the reiteration of CCP’s salvage policy:

“Players are still completely free to salvage other pilot wrecks at will, no matter if they belong to the same corporation or not and doing so is not considered as an exploit.”

I just posted this to Features And Ideas Discussion; please comment there, for the benefit of the Devs, if you have any substantive feedback on the idea.

As a salvager, it bothers me that I can see wrecks on the directional scanner that there’s no practical way to get to before they expire. That’s just wasted goodies.

We can’t currently probe for wrecks, presumably because it would tip the balance too much in the controversial matter of probing for mission runners. Like everybody, I have my opinions on where that balance should lie, but this suggestion is carefully crafted to avoid touching on that controversy.

A mission runner may, or may not, plan or desire to salvage his wrecks, or to have someone else do so.

But, once he leaves the mission space, he’s usually either coming right back with his salvage vessel, or he’s abandoning the wrecks — far more often the latter, in my experience.

So, why not add one or more probes that can probe for wrecks only, with the following very specific feature: scan signatures of any kind interfere with it, such that it cannot find any wrecks that are within, say, 10,000km of any ship. That would let dedicated salvagers probe down “abandoned” wrecks, without making mission runners any more or less vulnerable to probing. (You might need to adjust that distance to 20k km or 50k km to account for multi-pocket missions, if you need to guarantee the lack of impact on mission runners. Or you could just have wrecks in deadspace be “too hard to find” — they’ll still be findable if the mission runner turns in the mission without salvaging them.)

Whaddya think, a net benefit to the game without goring anybody’s ox?

During last winter’s war, I spend so much time in my Manticore stealth bombers that my pod goo was starting to smell like ass. It was bad.

But it was also great. I became convinced of what I had formerly suspected, which is that the stealth bomber is an awesome ship to use when you’re outnumbered and outgunned, but still want to take the fight to your enemy. The bomber is a relatively cheap ship that lets you be where you want to be even when surrounded by enemies, and lets you bring the pain to the place where it will hurt worst.

I also confirmed my then-suspicion that the conventional wisdom for bomber fitting was wrong, at least when you’re using them the way I like to use them. Everybody seems to want to fit sensor dampeners on them, then try to use the damps to stay alive at knife-fight ranges, in close to your enemy fighting at ranges where’s he’s comfortable and confident about killing you, and you have to prove he’s mistaken.

I say, screw that. Why not use the bomber’s strengths, which are range and damage? You won’t kill all that much working solo — face it, you won’t kill anybody who doesn’t screw up, fail to stay alert, or want to die — but screwups in EVE are not unheard of. And besides, there’s a lot of “win” to be had in denying the field of battle to your enemy. Making him flee can be a victory.

Anyway, I say all this by way of introduction to some posts I just found by Logan Galactor on the official forums. (post, post, post, post) Here’s the start of what he has to say, and I’m quoting it here because I think it’s an important strategic document on the use of my much-favored bombers:

Hey everyone. I’m pretty much an exclusive manticore pilot. All I’m ever doing is clearing belts out with them to mine in 0.0, or hunting enemy frigates. I’ve spent a LOT of time ****ing around with the EVE fitting tool, exploring every option of the versatile stealth bomber class (with the exception of the broken nemesis). I’ve come up with some unorthodox and hilarious setups that up the WTF factor of the manticore significantly when flown right. Thus, much to the pleasure of my 0.0 enemies I’m sure, I will submit to you my favorite working setups.

First off a bit of a side note. These setups are meant for surprise solo ganking of idiots, long-range support in fleet battles and stealth bomber ops in groups against victims or stationary targets. I don’t understand what else you would use a missile manticore for other than those things. You should not solo pvp a cruiser at 70km in a manticore. It is generally a bad idea. That being said, The setups hardly ever use a dampener as a countermeasure because they do not need one. You SHOULD NOT be taking on cruisers solo at less than 100 meters anyways unless you’re a real idiot, and if you’re taking them on in a decent group at range you will not be primary anyways so there is no real need for these taxing modules. You do not need a dampener on battleships because you will not be fighting them solo or you will not be their primary in a fleet battle. You do not need a dampener on interceptors because you will be killing them before they’re in weapon range and webbing them or escaping rather than trying to damp such a small range and a fast targetter and prevent the inevitable lock. The nerf to the dampeners in trinity made them less than half as effective as before, and you’ll notice this as you’re getting targeted and hit much faster at the sub-100km ranges you really shouldn’t be uncloaked at anyhow if the odds are against you.

In solo work, the enemy won’t die if he doesn’t want to or isn’t stupid, whether you’re at 20 or 200km. Cruise missiles are SLOW, and manticores can’t tank. In an ideal situation, you never have to target paint or sensor dampen much because you’re far over their range. In a situation that is not ideal, you’re warping away or sitting in a pod as soon as your cycle breaks because you pilot a glass-cannon of a ship. People who warp in at 40-80km using duel dampening setups and fail miserably and then complain that manticores suck have not adapted to the fact that sensor dampeners are pretty useless after the trinity patch; You have half the pre-trinity buffer range now, so this guide attempts to adapt and compensate.

If you’re loosing bombers at any point except for terribly-ranged warp-ins, warping into bubblecamps, or docking/undocking from stations, ur doing it wrong and should fly with a friendly veteran for a bit (not that I claim to be one!).

Also, no T2 launchers here. You can get a huge DPS bonus with cruise specialization V and T2 launchers based on rate of fire, but seeing that we’re mainly hunting frigates and doing general versatile work, I’m not going to include them in the setups because they are not practical to the midslot requirements and require a retarted amount of skill and fitting to do anything.

Lastly, people are going to say stuff like: Well that’s dumb, people are just going to escape or something like that. Well, that’s a given. Go fly a falcon or a curse or something. This is about instapopping*****y interceptor pilots and laying down serious damage while you laugh your ass off from 200km away. Naturally, the setups have some major tactical significance in certain areas, like protecting sniper battleships from a cruiser rush or ambushing in groups with aid of a tackle. But please don’t insult my setups if you’re not of the opinion that stealth bombers are the ultimate LULZcrafts of the EVE world, because that’s what these ships and setups are all about.

Needless to say, I agree, even though I don’t have a tiny fraction of the experience Logan sounds like he has. I’m posting his actual suggested fittings (with extensive commentary) after the jump, so I’ll be able to find them when I need them. Thanks, Logan!

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, everybody.

After that last demoralizing loss, I took a few days to work on other projects. I also found a cheaper concept for a heavy salvage cruiser, using an Amar Maller (more lowslots) to save needing rigs.

Took the new heavy salvager out tonight on a very successful run, came back with about 300 salvage parts from four or five different missions, including a nice pile of armor plates and melted cap consoles. And then I got this lovely email, from one Yorlock of the corp Farmer Killers [FARME], alliance United Corporations Against Macros [UCAM].

Subject: dangerous game

As a CEO you of all people should know probin mission and stealing salvage from aliances will get ya war declared. I am hoping your are exceptionally stupid and continus this conduct. I am very bored and need to pod a few scumbags.

I really wish I knew someone who does needlepoint, I’d love to have “I am hoping your are exceptionally stupid and continus this conduct” tatted up in four colors with decorative jetcans and wreck icons in the background, to hang on the Ironfleet office walls. For some reason I am reminded of this classic photograph:

morans cannot spell

Update: I decided to do a little research on our pleasant friend Yorlock. It turns out he’s got a history of letting his mouth write checks his alliance would prefer not to cash. This Eve-Pirate account features him acting all ass-hurt because somebody looted his wreck and (gasp!) targeted his ship, resulting in a war-dec against UCAM that caused his alliance diplomat to acknowledge “he does have a bad habit of attracting trouble.”

Here’s the hilarious lightly-edited transcript featuring the UCAM diplomat:

[ 2007.08.29 23:36:57 ] PHPR Freighter > any directors here?
[ 2007.08.29 23:37:32 ] PHPR Freighter > I want to know on what grounds that we were war dec’d
[ 2007.08.29 23:37:41 ] Sofia Roseburn > For love and honour.
[ 2007.08.29 23:37:51 ] atrophocy > for pewpew and lols
[ 2007.08.29 23:38:09 ] Sofia Roseburn > We are but a peaceful industrial corp, and your undercutting of our prices has pushed us over the edge.
[ 2007.08.29 23:38:51 ] atrophocy > Donovan Killar is the guy you wanna talk to
[ 2007.08.29 23:38:59 ] atrophocy > ceo boss guy
[ 2007.08.29 23:39:04 ] Sofia Roseburn > He’s currently shitfaced.
[ 2007.08.29 23:39:07 ] Sofia Roseburn > So hi.
[ 2007.08.29 23:39:22 ] Sofia Roseburn > I’ll be your liason officer today.
[ 2007.08.29 23:39:42 ] PHPR Freighter > I would like a more serious answer on why we were war dec’d though
[ 2007.08.29 23:40:18 ] Sofia Roseburn > Do you represent the alliance?
[ 2007.08.29 23:40:25 ] PHPR Freighter > I am the Alliance Diplomat
[ 2007.08.29 23:40:31 ] atrophocy > honestly mate, there’s no serious politics with DKI, they wardec for fun and laughs, it’s nothing more than that
[ 2007.08.29 23:40:45 ] Sofia Roseburn > We dec for shits and giggles.
[ 2007.08.29 23:41:02 ] Sofia Roseburn > One of your members probably made us laugh with whining.
[ 2007.08.29 23:42:06 ] PHPR Freighter > well.. allegations were that since my member didn’t want to fight you, you dec’d us..
[ 2007.08.29 23:42:25 ] Sofia Roseburn > Our logs indicate that one of your members, a Mr Yorlock, insinuated that we were purposefully harassing him. Due to the retardation of this accusation, we decided to go for it anyway.
[ 2007.08.29 23:42:52 ] Sofia Roseburn > Do you have any other questions?
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:02 ] PHPR Freighter > he does have a bad habit of attracting trouble
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:16 ] Sofia Roseburn > That’s your problem, not ours.
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:26 ] Haargoth Agamar > boot him
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:36 ] Sofia Roseburn > Tell him to jog on for the lulz.
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:42 ] PHPR Freighter > peace?
[ 2007.08.29 23:43:53 ] Sofia Roseburn > I can’t offer that, but it may appease the masses.
[ 2007.08.29 23:44:28 ] Sofia Roseburn > And I’m sure your 56 Titans which he claimed the alliance had will hurt our rears in any case.
[ 2007.08.29 23:44:45 ] PHPR Freighter > we don’t own any caps…
[ 2007.08.29 23:45:57 ] Sofia Roseburn > I know. That was me attempting to be funny. I failed.
[ 2007.08.29 23:46:38 ] Sofia Roseburn > But yeah. The war goes ahead. You should be able to kill us all easily.

And here’s the butt-hurt Evemail Sofia got from Yorlock:

IF looting my wrecks… then target locking me and orbiting at 500m is not piracy and harassment, then i must have missed something. And i am sorry if asking him to go pirate someone else was ‘insulting’. YOu need to know what your members do… I dont care about the looting… but locking and orbiting me afterwads is a tad insulting. I dont easily fall for such gank attempts…

Apparently he’s no clearer on the concepts of piracy and harassment than he is on the inherent logical conflict in his novel “stealing salvage” concept.

Ironfleet’s enemies will get a laugh out of this, for sure.

After I lost my heavy salvager (see previous post), I built another one, just like the first except with a better rig setup.

Took it out last night for a test cruise. Worked like a dream, brought in almost a hundred burned logic circuits.

Today, on my very first visit to deadspace, I warp to the Navy Raven sensor hit and find myself in a debris field, watching the raven moving toward the warp gate.

Experienced mission runners will know what happens next. I didn’t see it coming, despite a similar painful incident with a pair of basilisks (one of them, mine) about six months ago.

My mail button flashed. Innocent… but sometimes the insurance company knows what’s happened to you, before you know it.

Cloud Environment hits you, doing 1500 damage!
Cloud Environment hits you, doing 750 damage!
Cloud Environment hits you, doing 1100 damage!
Cloud Environment hits you, doing 1374.5 damage!

Hello, pod my old friend.

This time around, losses among the modules were very high.


It’s been a while since I lost a vessel, but today I lost my favorite heavy salvage cruiser. It was a Moa, all rigged up and loaded with Tech II fancies, designed to let me probe out missions in progress, visit them, and then salvage the wrecks under fire, with plenty of speed (to get to the wrecks promptly) and artificially enhanced agility (to STOP when I get there, not overshooting in frustration). Being a cruiser, it had toughness enough to survive a little agro when things go south. All in all, a sweet little ship for a very specialized purpose.

So, today I dropped in on Major Knewbee of Astrodynamic Innovations [ADIN], as he was working a mission pocket in a Drake. It looked like a single pocket mission, mostly small wrecks plus a few mediums, and he was wrapping it up, with just a few cruisers or battlecruisers left to finish. I figured on cherrypicking the few medium wrecks near my drop-in point and moving along, nothing really in the mission worth a heavy salvage effort.

But the thing is, I was careless, and I didn’t take the mission space seriously. First rule of mission salvage: the mission space is dangerous until every last red plus is converted into a yellow triangle. This rule, I failed to heed.

To be honest, I’m not sure exactly what happened. I suspect that Major Knewbee had been avoiding a known mission trigger, which he then triggered at an inopportune (for me) moment. Because the first thing I know is, I’m getting aggro and fire from about ten mission targets that (a) were not present a moment before, and (b) were all right up in my face.

The second thing I see is Major Knewbee warping out. Thank you very much, sigh. But well played, I’ll grant you.

Emergency warp procedures were initiated, but I was on a battleship afterburner going in no useful direction, so warp was slow. And then it got a lot slower, as in, I was warp scrambled. And shortly after that, I went quite thoroughly kaboom.

Fully insured of course, and I recovered most of my fittings from the wreck, but the lost rigs are a pang.

Fortunately, I have a hangar full of supplies to build another one.

So, I hadn’t been ten minutes logged into the game when I find myself in a private chat with Wcaspar, who is friendly and hoping I’ll be playing more. You remember Wcaspar, he was an AC-ME regular during what I still call Chebri’s War.

Near the end of the chat, he rather insistently wants to know what system I’m in, so he and his friends can “watch me salvage.” I tell him, but I also tell him it won’t do any good, because I’m leaving that system and I never work in front of witnesses.

He expresses disappointment.

I look him up, and discover that he’s no longer in AC-ME; he’s now a member of something called [DUTY.] (period is part of the name and ticker it seems), a 31-member corporation I’ve not heard of before. Naturally I am suspicious that he perhaps holds a grudge, and that he and his new friends might like to do me a disservice. Well, take a number, I guess.

So, then I do the belt sweep described in my last post, dock up with my salvage, and make that last blog post. Then it’s time to undock. Who do you think is sitting outside the station?

One Vanden, “Marshal” of [DUTY.], a wanted Minmatar with a bounty on his head, an employment history so long and ugly it could double as a rap sheet, and a fancy combat ship. Do you suppose it was a coincidence?

If you do suppose it was a coincidence, I’d like to sell you a nice breeding pair of feydos, you can sell the pups for millions and millions and millions of ISK!

Anyway, I was moving, so I don’t know whether Vanden had a particular disservice in mind, or whether this was preliminary surveillance. But I thought it was pretty funny, regardless. Somebody missed me!